Indoda ephambene.
Isincoko esikhulu sipapashiwe namhlanje kwiAtlantic endicebisa ukuba ndikhangele, kuba nesihloko sifike ekhaya:
Ithisisi kukuba impumelelo, njengamajelo eendaba ezentlalo okanye utywala, inokuba likhoboka eliyingozi kuba, njengazo nezinye izinto ezininzi ezikhobokisayo, isinika amaxesha okonwaba kunye ne-dopamine enika umbono wentoyikiso- njengezinto ezenza ngokwenyani thina sonwabile sityhalelwa ecaleni. Ezo zinto zibandakanya usapho, ukholo, ubomi basekhaya, kunye nezinye izinto ezilula. Ndicinga ukuba kufuneka sivavanye indlela ukwehliswa kwezi zinto kunye nokuhlonitshwa kwempumelelo njengeyona metric silinganisela ngayo ubomi bethu inento yokwenza nolawulo lwamadoda.
Inqaku eliphambili leqhekeza leAtlantic kukuba siphila kwinkcubeko ehlonipha impumelelo njengeyona ndlela yokulinganisa ubomi kunye nokukuphela kwento ekufanele ukuba uyisebenzele. Ukuphumelela seso sizathu sokuba abantu banikezele ngexesha labo, impilo yabo, kunye nolwalamano lwabo. Impumelelo kwikhondo lomsebenzi olikhethileyo kutheni abantu bezimisele ukusebenzela iiyure ezingamashumi asibhozo abaphathi abahlukumezayo, bachithe ixesha emiseleni behlawula iimfanelo zabo… konke oko ngaxa lithile banokuthi babe ngabaphathi abahlukumezayo? Sifanele, njengoko QESHA isixelela, silinganise ubomi bethu ngothando, kodwa asenzi njalo.
Yintoni umbhali wenqaku, uArthur Brooks, angayichukumisiyo, nangona kunjalo, kukuba umbono wempumelelo uyinto efumaneka kuphela kwezorhwebo nakwilifa lokuzikhethela ngumbono ozinziswe ngokunzulu kusolusapho. Ukuxabiseka kosapho, ubomi basekhaya, kunye nokuzonwabisa okulula, okungaqhelekanga kukugxothwa kwezinto ezazibonwa njengabesifazana ngokwembali. (Andenzi sibhengezo ukuba ngaba ezi zinto are kwaye kufuneka babone ukuba bangaphi abantu abanamabhongo, abaqhutywa, abaphumeleleyo abasetyhini abanyuka ngokwemeko yoosolusapho-ngezemali, amandla ezopolitiko, isikhundla sobunkokheli-bayathukwa kwaye baxhelwe ukuba baqhubele ekhaya. kucingelwa ukuba yindibano yamadoda.
Ngaphandle kwamaza aliqela obufazi, impumelelo ichazwa ngokwesiqhelo ubudoda: ukuphumelela, ukuba namandla kunye nokuhlukile, ukunyukela phezulu kumzi mveliso, kunye nokufumana udumo oluza kuhlala ngaphaya kobomi bonke. Obu butyhakala-ubudoda obufihliweyo njengobuqaqawuli obubuyela emva kwiminyaka eliwaka. U-Brooks usebenzisa u-Achilles njengomzekelo wakhe, kwiqhawe lakudala lamaGrike elikhethiweyo lokufa emfazweni kunye nozuko olungunaphakade kubomi obulula, obonwabisayo.
Singabuyela umva ngakumbi kwibali lokuqala elibhaliweyo, ingqungquthela kaGilgamesh, emalunga nesidenge esifuna uzuko kodwa ingelovuyo. Kodwa uzuko kunye nempumelelo ziyadlula, njengazo zonke ezinye iziyobisi eziphakamileyo. Ukucaphula i-Brooks: Iingcali zengqondo zibiza le Umatshini wokunyathela wehedonic , apho ulwaneliseko luphela ngokukhawuleza kwaye kufuneka sibalekele kumvuzo olandelayo ukunqanda ukuziva ushiyeka ngasemva.
Uosolusapho uyakuqinisa oku; ixhasa umbono wobuxoki wokuba lonke ulonwabo luvela ekuqinisekisweni kwangaphandle, ihlala ivela emadodeni nakwizakhiwo zamandla abazenzayo. Iyakwala ukuzibandakanya kwabasetyhini, iimvakalelo, kunye neendlela ezizolileyo zokufumana uvuyo olungathembeli kwamanye amadoda ukuba alubonelele. Imalunga namandla nokuxhomekeka. Kunye nobundlongondlongo.
Kwi-patriarchy, oko kuthetha ukuba yindoda: ukuya ekulweni kwaye uhlupheke ngenxa… yintoni? Ukutya nokulwa nokulawula kunye nokubaleka ukubetha loo milepost ilandelayo kugqatso olungapheliyo. Ukufunda emva kokufunda kubonisile ukuba ulonwabo aluveli empumelelweni ukuba siluchaza njalo. Mad Mad's UDon Draper ngumzekelo ophucukileyo wenkcubeko yoku. Uyaphumelela kwaye unamandla kwaye uyinzwana kwaye uphumelele, kodwa wafika apho ngobuxoki kwaye akananto kwaphela ngaphakathi.
Ukuphakama okwethutyana kwintengiso okanye kwintengiso enkulu ayizukukwenza wonwabe njengokuchitha ubusuku nabahlobo bakho okanye usapho. Ukuhamba ngokuzolileyo kwemihla ngemihla kubaluleke ngakumbi kulonwabo kunokufumana ibhaso elinye. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba ubomi basekhaya, isitshixo esiphantsi, esihlala siyindinisa yemihla ngemihla esizisa ulwaneliseko lokwenyani sibonwa njengommandla abasetyhini , abanalo ixabiso elifanayo lenkcubeko.
Jonga nje indlela esahlulahlulahlula ngayo umsebenzi wabazali kunye neemvakalelo ukuwela ngokungafanelekanga kwabasetyhini. Ukubangumzali kubonwa njengowesifazana ngokwemvelo kwaye ke kujongelwa phantsi kuwo onke amanqanaba oluntu lwethu, ukusuka ekwenzeni impilo yoomama kunye nokhathalelo lwabantwana kube ngumgaqo-nkqubo woluntu ophambili kuhlawulo lootitshala, kwindlela apho umsebenzi wokuba ngutata ubonwa njengonyuliweyo, kodwa umsebenzi Umama ubonwa njengonyanzelekileyo. Asibabhatali kakuhle ootitshala okanye abongikazi kuba umsebenzi wabo ungowesifazana kakhulu.
Ukuxabisa izinto ezibonwa njengezinto zobufazi kunye neempawu kubi ngendlela engathethekiyo kulonwabo jikelele kuba ezo zizinto ezenza ukuba abantu bonwabe ngakumbi. Usenokuba ukhe weva malunga nolonwabo oludumileyo lwe-Yale ekhokela abathathi-nxaxheba kwisayensi yempilo-ntle yokuphila ubomi obonwabisayo. Ukuthatha okukhulu kule khosi yileya imali, emva kwenqanaba elithile, ayikwenzi ukuba wonwabe ngokomlinganiso . Kodwa kananjalo ingqondo, umbulelo, amava kunye nokwazisa ngento ekuzisela uvuyo zizitshixo zolonwabo.
Qaphela ukuba impumelelo ibingekho kolo luhlu. Kodwa jonga kwakhona okuza engqondweni xa ucinga ngengqondo. Ngaba yayinguGwyneth Paltrow ekuthengisela i-goop? Ngaba wawuhlekisa ngomfanekiso engqondweni yakho yempembelelo ye-Instagram kwiibhulukhwe zeyoga ebeka iinjongo zakhe zosuku? Ngaba yayingumfazi osebenzisa ukuvumisa ngeenkwenkwezi ukuze aziqonde ngakumbi? Ukuba ezo zimvo ziphefumlele umanyano olungathandekiyo, jonga ukuba kutheni kwaye ukhuphe i-misogyny enokudlala indima. Ngenxa yokuba ingqondo, njengezinye izinto ezonyusa ulonwabo, ikwabonwa njengowasetyhini kwaye ikhutshwe ngokulula.
Izinto esicinga ukuba ziya kusenza sonwabe zihlala zingenjalo, kwaye inkcubeko eyakhelwe phezu kwamabhongo kunye nokwanelisa kwangoko kwamadoda isixelela ukuba bayazenza, kwaye kufanelekile ukuncama yonke into ngenxa yabo. Ikwasixelela ukuba kufuneka sixhomekeke kwabanye (ngesiqhelo amadoda, ugh) kunye noqikelelo lwabo kunye nokwamkelwa kuthi ukuba sonwabe, ezingasokuze zisebenze. Izinto ezinegalelo kulonwabo lwexesha elide azikho ngaphandle. Ayizizo iindondo zegolide ezilandelayo okanye i-tweet yentsholongwane okanye nantoni na oyifunayo usukela loo hit elandelayo yolonwabo lwe-hedonic. Abekho kwibhotile okanye kwi-ofisi yekona: bangaphakathi kuthi.
Ukujikela kwelinye inani lenkcubeko yokuqhuba eli khaya, sifuna umfazi. Umfazi oye wakhangela into eza kumonwabisa ngaphezulu komnyama, kodwa wafumanisa ukuba eyona nto imzisela uvuyo kukuba kunye nabantu abathandayo. UDorothy Gale uthe: Ndihlala ndiyokukhangela umnqweno wentliziyo yam kwakhona, andizukujonga ngaphaya kwendlu yam yangasemva. Kungenxa yokuba ukuba ayikho, andizange ndilahlekelwe ngokwenene ukuqala.
(umfanekiso: AMC)
Ngaba ufuna amanye amabali anje? Yiba ngumbhalisi kwaye uxhase indawo!
-UMary Sue unemigaqo-nkqubo engqongqo yokuphawula engavumiyo, kodwa ayikhawulelwanga, ukuthukwa nabani na , Intiyo nentetho egonyamelayo. —
