Kudala ndizixelela ukuba ndihlale kule ngxoxo-mpikiswano. Bendiqinisekisa ukuba naliphi na ixesha endilichithe ndifunda iiranti, izithuba, kunye nezimvo zabo zetyhula ziya kundenza ndizive ndinomsindo kwaye ndizikhusela. Ndiyazixelela ukuba umlo uphelile akwabikho mntu uphumeleleyo . Ndilungelelanisa ukuba bambalwa kuphela abantu abayonakalisayo kuthi sonke kwaye, abo bambalwa kufuneka bangahoywa . Ndithembisa ukuyeka ukutsalela ingqalelo kwesi sidalwa singenangqondo, ndiyeke ukomeleza uluvo lokuba Intombazana eyi-Fake Geek ikhona.
Kutheni ungayiyeki nje? Kutheni ungathathi ihlaya? Kutheni ungekho kule nto? Ndizibuza ezi zinto nam.
Inyaniso yile, Andazi. Kodwa, kutsha nje, ndicelwe ngu IBadass Digest Ukujonga ukuba kutheni ezo zityholo zinempembelelo eyomeleleyo kuluntu lwethu, kunye nokubonelela ngezinye zeenkcazo zengqondo zokuba kutheni siphendule ngendlela ebesinayo kuhlaselo lomlomo lwabalandeli babasetyhini nakwizityholo zokuba ezinye zizinto ezingezizo . Ngaba ikho into esinokuyifunda koku, ngaphandle kokuvuma ukuba la mabango akrwada kwaye ngokungathandabuzekiyo ngokwesini? Siyazi ukuba akukho ngqiqweni. Siya! Ke kutheni iqhubeka nokutsalwa kwincoko yethu? Kwaye ukuba sityholwa fakedom , kutheni sibuyela umva kukhuseleko? Sibizelwe ezinye izinto ezimbi, ezithoba isidima kwixesha lethu elidlulileyo. Kodwa eli lizwi le-F libonakala ngathi linyukile laya kwelona labile linyelisayo. Kutheni amandla amakhulu kangaka? Kutheni le nto sisongelwa ngokunzulu ngoluvo lokunganyaniseki?
Sixelelwe ukuba siyasabela.
Ndinqwenela ukuba kube lula. Ndithembe-ndingathanda ukunyusa ishiya, ndijije iinwele zam, ndibe sendleleni. Kodwa impendulo enamandla ngakumbi kwisityholo sobuxoki ayinakuchazwa ngemvakalelo enye eyodwa. Le mpendulo yomeleleyo isusela kwiminyaka yokuphindaphindwa, amava aqokelelweyo e ukuthukwa, ukungcikivwa, kunye nemiyalezo ethoba isidima evela kwamanye amalungu oluntu oluhlekisayo. La mava – amagqabantshintshi abonakala engenabungozi, iziqhulo ezihlekisayo, iindlela zobuqhetseba ezingezizo ezomzimba- ziyabizwa ukukhutshwa kwezinto ezincinci . Ithiyori ye-microaggressions yaphuhliswa emva kwii-70's ukubonisa ubuhlanga, kodwa yandiswa sisazinzulu ngengqondo uDerald Wing Sue, Ph.D. ngo-2007 ukuquka iintlobo ngeentlobo kunye nokuhlelwa kwezi ntetho zingacacanga nezibonakala zingenabungozi ezinxibelelana nobutshaba, ukujongela phantsi, okanye ukunyelisa kunye nokuthukwa kwabantu abangengawo amalungu eqela. La malungu eqela angabandakanya abantu basetyhini, ubuhlanga / ubuhlanga obuncinci, amalungu e-LBGT, kunye nabanye ababekade becalucalulwa ngaphambili.
Nayi eminye imizekelo yesini esincinci kumxholo wamalungu ababhinqileyo abahlali abahlekisayo:
Ngokuqinisekileyo uyazi okuninzi ngeBatman, kwintombazana.
Awukhangeli njenge-geek.
Kuhle ukuba uze kumbhiyozo we-Star Wars kwisoka lakho.
Ngaba ubhuti wakho omdala wakufaka kwiikhomikhi?
Uyiphupha elimanzi le-nerd.
Khange nditsho ukuba amadoda kuphela kwabahlaseli xa kufikwa kwimicroaggressions yesini. Abasetyhini nabo bahambisa ezi zilingo zibonakala zingenabungozi.
Kutheni le nto imicroaggressions iyingozi? Zibonakala zisiyatha, akunjalo? Kodwa la magqabantshintshi eneneni anxibelelana nemiyalezo ukukhuphela ngaphandle, ukulahla, okanye ukubhangisa iingcinga zengqondo, iimvakalelo, okanye amava okwenyani omntu. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ezi ziganeko zihlala zivela umzuzu, ibhanal kwaye ayibalulekanga. Ngamanye amaxesha bavelisa ukuhleka. Kodwa amava aphindaphindiweyo okubafumana anganempembelelo yexesha elide ngokwengqondo. Umzekelo, nantsi imiyalezo ebekiweyo malunga nabafazi kuluntu oluhlekisayo:
Awunguye owakho.
Awuqhelekanga.
Uphantsi ngokwasengqondweni.
Akunakuthenjwa.
Niyafana nonke.
Le miyalezo ke inokuthi isasazeke kwaye ibe nomonakalo kwiqela elikhulu labantu. Kwaye isizathu sokuba babe encinci -Ukuchasana, ugqirha Sue uyacacisa, kukuba umntu obahambisayo unokuba neenjongo ezintle kwaye angoyikisi kwindalo, mhlawumbi bengazi nokwazi ukukhetha kwabo. Nabo, banamava abo awakhe imbono zabo. Kwiimeko ezininzi, xa ujongene nomntu, umntu uya kukhanyela ukuba bebethetha ukwenzakala, achaze ukuba bayadlala, kwaye uxelele ummkeli ukuba uya uvakalelo kakhulu. Andikwazi ukugxininisa ngokwaneleyo inqaku apha:
1. Abamkeli be-microaggressions baziva bexhoba kwaye besoyikiswa.
2. Abahlaseli babo baziva ngathi abenzanga nto.
3. ZOMBINI ZICHANEKILE KWIINKCUKACHA ZABO.
Yiyo loo nto umjikelo ongapheliyo wokungasebenzi, ukungaqondi kakuhle, ukuzikhusela kunye nokubuyela ekusebenzeni. Sibona umjikelo udlalwa ngoku kwimeko yemidiya yoluntu apho kubonakala ngathi kukho ukungaqondani okukhulu malunga nenkcazo yesatire.
Makhe ndicaciswe malunga nokungeyiyo i-microaggression:
Awungomdlalo wokuhlekisa.
Awuyazi i-SHIT malunga neekomikhi.
Uyile nto ndibhekisa kuyo njengeCON-HOT.
Le yimizekelo yezisongelo zokwenyani, ukuhlaselwa ngamazwi, kunye nezithuko ngabom. Akungabazeki ukuba bayabelana ngesondo kwaye andizukujongana nabo apha. Kodwa ezi zimvo yenza kubangela impendulo ngokweemvakalelo kuba qinisekisa Amava amdlulileyo obukrelekrele. Oko kukuthi, baqinisa iingcinga eziqinisekileyo, iinkolelo ezilahlekisiweyo ukuba abasetyhini abanalo ulwazi lwee-comics, ukuba abantu ababhinqileyo abadibana ne-geekdom akufuneki bajonge njengabafazi / bahle / banomtsalane, kwaye ukuba amalungu angamadoda oluntu anoxanduva lobulungu bethu. Ezi meko zinje ngokuhlatywa ngemela kwiindawo ezisengozini.
Sixelelwe ukuba asibonakali.
Ngamanye amaxesha ndiziva ngathi ndimi kanye phambi komntu kanti abakandiboni. Ndicacisile ebantwini ukuba isizathu sokuba ngamanye amaxesha ndiveze ubuchwephesha bam ngokungakhathali, ngenani elingenangqondo lokunxiba fan, kukwenza ukwaziwa. Ndiyavuma, ndinomnqweno onzulu kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ndinqwenela ukubonwa ukuba ndingubani, ukuze i-geek yam ichonge ukuba iqinisekisiwe. Kukho indawo yam ekhwaza, Nceda undibone! Kwaye okwangoku, ngaphandle kokuqaqadeka kwam, ndisajongwa. Kumava am, oku kuyenzeka ngohlobo lwe-microaggression- i-subtype ebizwa ngokuba Ubuncinci bobuchwephesha .
Kutshanje ndiye ndaya kwinkomfa yezengqondo, ndathi ndakufika kwisikhululo seenqwelomoya xa ndihamba ngenqwelomoya, ndafumana umzekelo wobuchwephesha obuncinci. Kuqwalaselo lokhuseleko, emva kokuba itekhnoloji yam ihambile ngeskena, ndileqe ukuya kuqokelela izihlangu nezinto zam. Ndathatha i-hoodie yam ye-Star Wars ndayisongela ngesikipa sam se-Batgirl. Iarhente yamadoda angamashumi amathathu anento ye-TSA yalatha ku-Kindle wam, lowo ene-Star Wars cover comics, kwaye wajonga kwangoko umfokazi emi ecaleni kwam: Ngaba ngulo Uhlobo lwakho olu? Umfokazi ecaleni kwam, umntu obonakala ngathi unamashumi amabini enxibe ijean engenanto kunye nehempe emhlophe, wanikina intloko. Yeyam, ndacima. Umntu we-TSA emva koko wangqiyama phambili wathi, giddily, Oko kuyamangalisa ngokwenene. Ndiyayithanda Star Wars nayo. Ukuncoma. Kodwa khange ndikwazi ukuqhubekeka namagama anobubele ngoba bendisabuyela kwimeko yokumangaliswa kukucinga kwakhe ukuba izinto zam ayizizo ezam . Isikhumbuzo senkolelo esasazekileyo yokuba ii-Star Wars zitshatile. Yindoda. Into endiyithandayo yeyamadoda.
Isazisi esingalunganga sahlala kum. Iingcinga ezimbi zokungabonakali zigubungele ingqondo yam. Inzondo yaba yindlela endandizonwabisa ngayo. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba ndanyanzelisa ekuthatheni ingqalelo into encinci, ndaye ndalahla a kuqinisekiswa ukuncoma kunye nethuba ndiziva ndibonakala . Kwaye damnit, ithuba lokuphuma nomntu othanda izinto zam. Ukuhlekisa, huh? Ndinetyala lokuqhubela phambili umjikelo, nawo.
Ubuncinci bobuchwephesha yingcaciso nje enye yokuba kutheni sikhuthazeka xa sityholwa ngokuba ngumkhohlisi. Kodwa ibalulekile kuba ibhekisa kwiimfuno zabantu ezisisiseko. Ngokwengqondo sinayo umnqweno onzulu wokuqatshelwa kunye nokuba lilungu. Ukuzazisa kwethu kwezentlalo- ukuba singobani, ngokuyimfuneko, kwihlabathi-- kumiselwa kakhulu ngamaqela esikuwo. Sikhulisa okuninzi kuthi ngokwamaqela ethu: ukuzithemba, injongo, imvakalelo yokuba lilungu, ukuvunywa. Ke, ukutyholwa ngokuba ungumkhohlisi kuyonakalisa kakhulu kwaye kuyacaphukisa uvakalelo lwethu kuba kufana nokuba umntu usixelela, awunguye lo uthi unguye. Kwakhona, la magqabantshintshi abonakala engenabungozi kwaye engenangqondo, kodwa ngokungathandabuzekiyo ayikhuphi, ayiphikisi, okanye ayizenzi iingcinga zengqondo, iimvakalelo, okanye amava okwenyani omntu. Ukuba singabamkeli bale miyalezo, sifumana ukungabi namandla, ukulahleka kwengqibelelo, kunye nokungabonakali.
Sixelelwe ukuba asikwazi ukuqhubeka ngokwengqondo.
Zinjani iimpahla zokunxiba nangayiphi na indlela ezinxulumene nolwazi lwamahlaya? Ngapha koko, zinxitywa njani iimpahla ezinxitywa kulwazi lwamahlaya? Kwaye kuthekani ukuba aba bafazi cosplay bafuna ukuba yabona kwisinxibo sabo ngenxa yoko ndifuna ingqalelo? (GASP!). Andinayo ingcaciso malunga nale ngcamango ecinga ukuba abafazi abaza kujonga ingqalelo abanako ukuba ngabanomdla. Kodwa kufuneka ndivume ukuba isityholo sokuba kukuhlaba okungamanga njenge-hydrosulphuric acid ngenxa yomyalezo osisiseko esingawazi ngokwaneleyo ukuba siwufunde, sonwabe kwaye qonda ii-comics, ngakumbi ukuba sinxibe isinxibo esibonakala ngathi sivusa inkanuko okanye sivelisa. Uxakeke kakhulu ujongeka njengesikhova awungekhe ufunde yonke imiba ye Abahamba befile . Andiyifumani. Andikwazi nje ukwenza ubudlelwane obunengqiqo phakathi kwesikhumba kunye nobudenge, kuba ezi zinto zimbini zisebenza ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, iinqwelomoya. Kodwa akukho nto ibonakala inobungozi kumfazi kunokuhlaselwa ngaxeshanye emzimbeni wakhe nakwingqondo yakhe.
Kutheni sisongelwa nguMkhohlisi?
Ndithethile malunga nokuba isityholo sobuxoki sinokuba ngaphezulu kokuhlambalaza, indlela engena ngayo kwiimvakalelo ezinzulu ezivela kumava amabi aqokelelweyo. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba abanye baba bafazi kuthethwa ngabo babenyanisile? Kuthekani ukuba kukho abantu phaya abasidibanisayo, bembatha, bezama uku Dlula njengomnye wethu ? Kutheni le nto umkhohlisi, omele iqhezu elincinci loluntu lwethu, kubonakala ngathi uthathe amandla kunye namandla? Mhlawumbi siyacaphuka sisityholo sentombazana engeyonyani kwindawo yokuqala kuba Sifumana abakhohlisi besoyikisa kakhulu. Nazi ezinye zezizathu zokuba sisongelwe ngamalungu anyanisekileyo oluntu lwethu:
1. Uluvo olungeyonyani lwezixhobo ezinqongopheleyo:Ukukhula, uninzi lwethu luye lwabona amava ethu kwimeko yokuqokelelwa, ukufunyanwa kwezinto, kunye neemveliso zodidi. Amafashoni ethu abonakala ngathi anokulinganiswa ngokwexabiso lempahla. Isigama sethu sibandakanya amagama anje ngokukhethekileyo, imeko yeminti, kunye nokuqokelelwa. Siyazi ukuba amatikiti eComic-Con aya kuthengisa. Siyazi ukuba iMondo iya kunika kuphela i-580 I-Olly Moss iNkosi yeeRingi iipowusta kunye nama-285 ahlukeneyo. Qikelela ukuba? Bathengisa ngemizuzu emi-3. Sithanda singathandi, thina cinga yokuthanda kwethu njengodidi olwenziweyo kunye nokusikelwa umda. Sinezinto ezininzi esinazo kwaye ayilotyala lethu ngokupheleleyo. Umbono womkhohlisi-umntu ongakhathali ngokwenyani ngexabiso lomntu kunye nexabiso lezinto- usoyikisa kuthi kuba banokuthabatha kwimbiza yethu exabisekileyo, esesichengeni.
Okuchasene okuyinyani kuyinyani xa sicinga ngeempahla ezingaphathekiyo- isixa esikhulu solwazi kuzo zonke iintlobo ze-geek ezisuka kwiincwadi ezihlekisayo ukuya kuncwadi olungamanga kwimidlalo yevidiyo. Kukho indalo iphela enkulu kangangokuba abakhohlisi abambalwa – ukuba babekhona ngenene- ayisosongelo sokwenyani.
2. Ingqondo engachazwanga kakuhle yobunini. Xa singabahlali, sikhulisa imvo yobunini obufanelekileyo. Xa ndandisemncinci, ndafumana amakhadi eeklabhu zabalandeli kunye neeleta zobulungu zokundazisa ukuba ndikwiqela elithile, liqinisa ubunyani beqela. Iinombolo zesiriyeli, amakhadi alaminishwe, kwaye ngoku, ii-imeyile kunye namaqela e-twitter kubonakala ngathi aqinisekisa umbono wokuba lilungu leqela kuthetha ukuba sinabanini zabelo kwaye abanye abangoye. Izabelo zisinika amalungelo athile okuqonda: Sifumana isigqibo sokuba ngubani omnye phakathi okanye ngaphandle . Kodwa, nyhani, ngaphandle kweemveliso ezibonakalayo, yeyiphi eyona nto sinayo?
3. Ingqumbo yenkcubeko eguqukayo. Abanye bethu bakhule befihla ubuchwephesha besizathu esithile okanye esinye. Mhlawumbi saziva sinqabisekile; mhlawumbi saxhatshazwa ngenxa yokuba singaphandle. Abanye bethu bazifihla okanye bazifihla ubunikazi bethu njengeegeek kakuhle de babe badala. Uninzi lwethu, xa sibona abantu ekubonakala ngathi basandula ukujoyina uluntu siziva singakhululekanga kukhula kwabo okungafaniyo. Thina kwafuneka ukuba ubunzima ubunzima! Kodwa ngoku kupholile ukuba yi-geek, apha bona yizani ngobuninzi! Thixo, bakhangeleka bonwabile. Masiyiyeke loo nto. Yinto eninzi kakhulu yokuqikelela kubantu esingabaziyo. Kwaye abafanelekanga.
Iimvakalelo zokusoyikiswa, ukungaqiniseki, nokungahoywa zinokwenzeka nakubani na kolu luntu- ezinye iingcali zengqondo ziphikisa ngelithi xa izoyikiso zingacacanga okanye zifihlakele (njenge-microaggressions), zinokuba yingozi ngakumbi kuba akukho kuqiniseka kunye nohlaselo iyaliwa okanye ayihoywa. Bathetha lonto asizenzeli nto ilungileyo kuthi ukuba sibambelela kumava ambalwa asinika eyona ntlungu -Kufuneka sibaleke umjikelo. Thina kufanele yalatha izoyikiso zokwenyani, sizikhusele, silungisa ubuxoki, sibonisa ukuba kunjalo hayi ngokungathandekiyo ukuba sexy kwaye smart; siziphethe kakubi kuthi ukuba siphosa amathuba okuqaqambisa kunye nokubhiyozela ukuqinisekiswa okusempilweni kunye nokwamkelwa okwenzeka ngamadoda nabafazi kuluntu.
Ngamanye amazwi, Kufuneka siyeke ukuba ngabodwa. Sonke sikhe, ngaxa lithile okanye elinye, sibe namava okuxhaphaza, ukungabonakali, ukuthukwa, ukuhlaselwa, okanye ukwaphulwa komthetho. Le yimeko yomntu. Kodwa ndicinga nzulu ukuba sizikhuphile na ezi zakhono ebumnyameni, kwiindawo ezoyikisayo zobuntwana bethu, sikhupha ubuchwephesha kubantu abafikayo okanye abantu esingabaziyo, ngeendlela esaziyo ukuba zezona zibuhlungu.
UGqirha Andrea Letamendi ngugqirha wezengqondo obhala iimbono ezinzulu malunga namagorha kunye neenjubaqa ezivela kwinzululwazi, intsomi, kunye nokuhlekisa. Ungumcebisi kubabhali nakwabadali kwishishini lokuhlekisa ukunceda ukuqinisekisa ngokuchaneka kwengqondo njengoko kubonisiwe kubuxoki. Uhlala ethetha njengengcali yephaneli kwiindibano ezihlekisayo kwilizwe liphela kwaye, ngexesha lakhe lokuzimela, utyekele kuzo zonke izinto Batman kwaye Idabi leenkwenkwezi .
[ Abahleli Qaphela: Unokufumana uGqirha Letamendi kwi-Twitter: @ArkhamAsylumDoc okanye kwiwebhusayithi yakhe: Ngaphantsi kweMaski ]
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