Njengokuba ukukhula kwesondo kukhula kwaye kuguquka, zininzi iilebheli ezivelayo ukuze zilingane neenkcukacha ezahlukeneyo abantu abazifumeneyo zisengqiqweni kubo- kwaye ukwenzela bona Yeyona nto iphambili kule ngxoxo kuba ngelixa iilebheli ziluncedo kwezinye, ziyindlela yokunceda ekufumaneni izinto zakho kunophawu oluchanekileyo lobomi babanye.
Ngokoluvo lwam, ukukhula kunye nokungwevu kwimbonakalo yesondo kuyamangalisa, kwaye inceda kuphela abantu abaninzi ukuba bazive bebandakanyiwe njengoko bezama ukuphendula umbuzo weminyaka yobudala Kutheni ndiziva ndohlukile? Ngelishwa, ngenxa yolwandiso oluyimfuneko kunye neendawo ezingwevu, kuninzi ulwazi olungelulo, kwaye apho ndibona khona oku kukwahluka phakathi kokuchonga ukuba ulala nesini kunye nokuba ngubani ochonga njenge-pansexual-ngokungathi ifuna nathi ngokuchasene nabo.
Ndiyakwazi ukuthetha kuphela, kodwa mna, ubundlobongela kwakuyigama elidibanisa intliziyo yam nengqondo yam. Kangangexesha elide, ndandikhe ndithethelele umtsalane wam kubafazi kude njengobuhle okanye njengomqondiso wokuba ndiyintombazana yamantombazana. Kwakungekokude ndithandane nelinye ibhinqa ndaye ndavumela ukuba ndiqonde ukuba kukho isizathu sokuba imifanekiso egcinwe kwikhompyuter yam yayingama-80% abasetyhini, i-15% iSesshoumaru, kunye ne-5% Alan Rickman.
Ubundlobongela ndacaciselwa bona njengokutsala kwisini sam nakubantu besini esingafaniyo nam, ngaphandle kokukhetha omnye komnye. Kum, yayingeyiyo i-cis-men kunye ne-cis-women, kodwa i-spectrum yemizimba kunye nabantu abangaphaya kwesini esithile. Yayivakala, kwaye yandinceda ndazithemba ukuba ndingubani. Ngelo xesha, i-pansexual yayingeloxesha endandiqhelene nalo.
Njengokuba iminyaka iqhubekile nosaziwayo abanjengoNatasha Negovanlis, uJanelle Monáe, nabanye bephuma njengepansexual, bezisa ukwamkelwa esidlangalaleni kwilebhile, ibe ngamava okufunda okwam kunye noluntu ngokubanzi. Inkcazo ye-pansexuality endiyibona ngokufuthi andibuboni ubuni, ndiyabathanda abantu, abathi, ndakuqala ukukuva, kwavakala ngathi ndithanda ubufanasini, kodwa ngokokuqonda kwam, enye ayisusanga enye .
Heck, ndizibiza ngokuba ndithandana nabantu abathandanayo kwaye nditshintsha amaxesha amaninzi. Nangona kunjalo, omnye wemicimbi ethe yavela yayikukuba, kwintetho phakathi kwento ebikukuziphatha ngokwesini kunye nokuba neentlobano zesini kunye nokungafani phakathi kwaba babini, ndibone abanye abantu bezama ukubeka abesilisa nabasetyhini ebhokisini.
Kwakukho abo babenokuthi ukuba neentlobano zesini yayikukutshintsha kuba abantu abathandanayo babethanda kuphela abantu be-cis, okanye abantu abathandanayo abathandanga abantu abangahambelaniyo, kwaye ngesiquphe besisenza i-SAT prep kumagama esiLatin, sixelelwa ukuba bi = ezimbini kunye nepan = zonke, ekufuneka zisebenzise ngokoqobo kwimigaqo esiyisebenzisileyo kwaye yayithetha ukuba abantu ababelana ngesondo babenomda kukhetho lwabo kunabantu abathandanayo.
Oku ayikuko ukudideka okanye ulwazi olungelulo endilubeke ezinyaweni zabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye okanye abo bathandana nabantu besini esahlukileyo-sizama nje ukuhlala-kodwa oyena nobangela wayo ngumnqweno oqhelekileyo wokwenza ukumkanikazi njengoko, uxolele i-pun, ngokuthe ngqo kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Kukunyanzelisa ukuba kufuneka kubekho umgca onzima esantini phakathi kwezazisi zimbini, okanye enye kufuneka iginye enye kwidabi lokugqwesa njengeyona nto ivulekileyo ngokwesini, ngokungathi isini sakho senza ukuba ube nengqondo evulekileyo.
Andizange ndive okanye ndibone umntu olala nomntu ongatshatanga naye esithi bebengenamdla womntu otshintshayo okanye umntu ongenguye owebhanana kuba babesabelana ngesini, kwaye nokuba ungatshatanga ngokwesini akuthethi ukuba ukhululekile kwi-transphobia okanye uneengcinga ze-transphobic. Zilebheli nje, iilebhile eziluncedo ezisetyenziswa ngabantu ukuthetha ngeehambo zabo zesondo, kodwa iilebhile nangona kunjalo.
Ziyaphela, ziyatshintsha, ziyavela, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, zihlala zinjalo. Akukho mfuneko yokuba sithathe iinkwenkwezi ezazikade zizibiza ngokuba ngabantu abathandanayo kwaye zithi, Ewe ngoku banesini ngenxa yokuba oku kuthetha ukuba. Abantu, ngakumbi abantu abangamatshijolo, banelungelo lokuzichaza njengeyona nto inengqiqo kubo nakubomi babo.
Ukuba bendilusana oluyimveku namhlanje, ndizama ukufumana igama elindichazayo, kukho ithuba elihle lokuba ndizibize nge-pansexual. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba neentlobano zesini kunye nolusu lulingana nam ngokuchanekileyo. Andikaze ndiyisebenzise ukuzikhawulela, kodwa ukucacisa indlela endandiqhekeka ngayo kwi-binaries esele zimiselwe.
Ndonwabile ngekota, kwaye ndimi ecaleni kwabantakwethu abathandanayo ngokwesini ngokubambisana nelungelo lethu lokuba njengabanqabileyo njengoko sifuna ngaphandle kokuzichaza okanye ukubonelela ngezabelo zamaqabane ukubonisa ukuba singamafanasini. Akukho mfuneko yokuba senze umzobo weVenn ukuze sifumanise ukuba siyakuba yeyiphi, kuba embindini zizinto ezintathu ezibaluleke kakhulu: siyongeza, siyathandeka, siyathandabuza.
Ububanzi besazisi yile nto nje, ukubonwa, kunye neelebheli esizikhethayo kufuneka zibe zezethu ngaphambi kokuba zibe zezomnye umntu. Ayizizo zonke iileyibhile ezilingana ngokugqibeleleyo, kodwa ukuba, ekugqibeleni, zisigcina sifudumele kwaye zisinika intuthuzelo, ke yeyona nto ibalulekileyo.
Kum, ndiyigcine iilebheli zam zilula ngokwenyani: Mnyama, Bisexual kunye neBrooklyn Born ‘n’ Raised.
(umfanekiso: Ifoto nguDavid McNew / Getty Izithombe)
