** Abaphangi be Indlela yokupheka. **
Malunga neveki ephelileyo, ndibhale malunga nefoto ehambayo ye-KFC's fanfic-turned-Lifetime Indlela yokupheka. Umboniso bhanyabhanya oboniswe okokuqala nge-13 kaDisemba, kodwa okoko ndinamathele kwiinkonzo zokusasaza, ndaye ndahlamba inkuku yam egubungele izandla.
Kodwa uthando, kunye no-Colonel, soloko ufumana indlela, kuba imovie… nje apho kwisitishi se-KFC se-YouTube. Njengo. Yonke loo nto .
Ndabamba isandla esifubeni sam esingcangcazelayo ndaza ndazilungiselela ukukhutshwa nguMario Lopez… imizuzu eli-16.
Umboniso bhanyabhanya kuphela wemizuzu eli-16?!
Oko kuthetha ukuba ubukele i-trailer (kwaye ndiyazi ukuba uyenzile, thina konke did), sele uyi-1/16 yendlela phaya, ngoko ke unokuphamba kwisitovu kwaye ubeke intliziyo yakho ivutha ngamayeza kunye neziqholo. Ayizizo zonke iziqholo, nangona kunjalo, kuba kuko konke ukuhleka ebesinako malunga nomdlalo bhanyabhanya awuphantse ube ngaphezulu-phezulu njengoko wawunokuba nawo (kwaye kufanele ukuba ubukho).
Ke, masiyiqhekeze yonke le nto.
Sivula indawo ngexesha endicinga ukuba ngumbutho weholide. (Ndigweba ngemihombiso yeKrisimesi, kodwa akukho namnye umntu okhankanya iKrisimesi.) Siyabona ukuba ngubani otya ngokutyebileyo kule nto sixelelwa ukuba yinkukhu eqhotsiweyo entle kodwa asiboni mntu uthatha enye yaluma emlenzeni, ebeleni, okanye ethangeni.
Makhe ndithethe nje ukuba ndingaze ndifike kwinqanaba apho ndingafumana khona inkukhu kunye newayini phantsi kwethanga elikhulu, NDIYADLA kwaye ndiyayikhotha NGAMNYE iminwe yam. Oku kufanele ukuba kube luphawu lokuqala lwale movie engayamkeli ngokupheleleyo ingcinga yayo. Njengaye, asifumani kwa umnwe lickin ’ulungile phawula, nje inkukhu imnandi kwaye… nantso ke.
Amacala akhangeleka njengesihogo, nangona kunjalo. Kufuneka unyuse umdlalo wakho phezulu kwezo, Colonel (okanye, ukuba ndingathi, Harland).
Umboniso ocacileyo womboniso bhanyabhanya, uBilly Garibaldi III, uyancuma yena ndisixhobo esityebileyo sokuncuma kwintombi yakhe, uJessica. UJessica, ngokucacileyo ongonelisekanga kangangeenkulungwane, unika isitabane sakhe esimnyama, u-Lee, an Ndisesesihogweni jonga. U-Lee, ezibuza ukuba ngaba i-strights ilungile, unika i-Gay eye-Roll (TM) enegunya lobunikazi kumzamo wokubonisa ubumbano lweqabane lakhe elingenaluthando, elingenalo uthando.
Kulapha apho uBilly ethatha isigqibo sokuphakamisa uJessica, ngethemba lokuba ukuba uyayenza phambi kwabaphulaphuli uya kuvuma ukuthatha inxaxheba kumtshato ongazalisekanga nendoda enekhemistri eninzi kunina (ngakumbi koku kamva). Andiqinisekanga ukuba ngoobani abanye abantu abasetafileni? Sixelelwa kamva ukuba abazali bakaBilly babekhona kodwa akufani nokuba siye saziswa kubo. Abathethi kwanto, kwaye asizukubabona kwakhona, kuba ndicinga ukuba bathathe isigqibo sokuya kuba sisityebi kwenye indawo.
Mhlawumbi bayokutya inkukhu.
Ngapha koko, uJessica uthi ufuna umoya kunye namagqabi. Umama wakhe, uBunny, unomsindo, uyayingxolisa intombi yakhe ngentsasa elandelayo kuba kuyacaca ukuba senza loo nto apho intombazana ixelelwa ukuba itshate indoda kuba usapho ludinga imali? Uyise kaJessica wabashiya kwimfumba yamatyala, kodwa ngandlela thile uBunny uyakwazi ukuqesha umpheki omtsha kwaye abambe amaqela amnandi ngemifuno ejongeka ngathi yiplastikhi kwaye waqesha izinto ezongezelelweyo ukuba zibukeke ngathi yitafile yesidlo sangokuhlwa epheleleyo?
Akukho xesha lalonto! Lixesha lokuba wazise ngokufanelekileyo uHarland Sanders, indoda eyayisakuba ngumpheki oyintloko kwindawo yokutyela esingazange sive ngayo kodwa uJessica uyasiqinisekisa ukuba bezama ukufumana ukubekelwa indawo iminyaka. Kulungile kuba ngoku ungangcamla ukupheka kwakhe ekhayeni lakho. Cue i-ballad yothando njengoko iintlantsi zihamba phakathi kweendlela zethu ezimbini ezinomtsalane.
Aba babini bonwabile kukuhambahamba kwipropathi, uBunny ekhazimla engena emnyango wangaphambili kuba, ewe, mhlawumbi wayefuna umpheki omtsha njengoko wayenyanzela intombi yakhe kunye noBilly ukuzama ukugcina imali yosapho okanye nantoni na (oku ibe ngumsonto onomdla ngakumbi kunoko sikufumanayo, ndithembe). UJessica noHarland banencoko kwilinge lokuphuhlisa i-chemistry kuba sikwi-4-minute mark kwaye akukho xesha lide liseleyo.
Impikiswano iyavela ngohlobo lomsindo ogama linguBilly Garibaldi III. Unomsindo kuba uJessica wayenemithambo-luvo yokungahoyi umnxeba wakhe kwaye aphume aphume kuye ngexesha lesidlo sangokuhlwa phezolo xa wayezama ukubeka ikhadi lomgibe lomtshato ebaleni. Umbiza ngokuba ngumlingane wakhe nokuba akanguye, kwaye uHarland wamkela i-AC Slater yakhe yangaphakathi kwaye uxelele uBilly ukuba Yithathe lula .
UBilly uphendula embiza ngokuba ngu… crouton?
Kulungile, Yile nto ndiyithethayo xa ndisithi le movie ayihambi ngokwaneleyo kubuhle bayo obunokubakho. Yibhanyabhanya yothando ye-KFC kwaye le ndoda ibizwa ngokuba yimesis yakhe yi-crouton. Zonke iinkukhu ziyangxama zilungele ukuthatha kwaye… crouton? Ungayiyeki ukundikhwaza okanye uyibethe inyikinya okanye ubuye umva ngaphambi kokuba ndikhuphe iintsiba zakho okanye… uxolo, ndiyaphoxeka ngamathuba aphosiweyo.
UJessica uqhankqalaza kwaye uHarland uxwayisa uBilly ukuba angambizi crouton. Ewe. Uyamxelela, Harland!
Sinqumle kwiklabhu yelizwe apho uLee alungiselela umhla, kwaye ndityala imali ngoko nangoko. Njengo. Kulungile. Wadibana nalo mfana kwintengiso yomfama kunye nomfo OWNS iklabhu yelizwe? Njengantoni?! U-Lee uzama ukulungisa iklabhu yelizwe kwaye ndicinga ukuba wenza umsebenzi omkhulu! Amanqaku ebhonasi kule bhanyabhanya nje… ukuba nomlinganiswa ophila obona bomi bumnandi. Uhleli kwitafile yesidlo sangokuhlwa nabantu abazizityebi, akukho namnye omnika usizi lokuba yisitabane kunye nesitayile.
Ngelishwa, imovie ayigxininisi kuye. Asifuni nokumbona enika imvume yokuvuma eHarland kwaye asiboni umhla wakhe nomfana ovela kwintengiso yomfama, othi, kwimizuzwana emi-2,5 esiyibonayo, abukeke emhle!
EZININZI ZAZO NCEDA!
Ndinosizi.
Singabukela amakhwenkwe eklabhu yelizwe athandana namanye kodwa endaweni yoko sijonge ukubonakaliswa kukaBunny noBilly abanesondo.
Linda ntoni ?!
Ewe kuvela ukuba uBunny uthandana noBilly kwaye uthembisa ngeempelaveki ezinde ukuba wenza into ngeHarland. Kuqala kwinto zonke, bendinokuxela kwinqwelwana erhuqwayo ukuba babekhwaza phakathi kwamashiti. Okwesibini kuko konke… um… kutheni uBunny engatshati noBilly endaweni yoko? Kutheni le nto kufuneka etshate noJessica? Le… ayikaze ichazwe, kodwa owona mzuzu ubalaseleyo kuyo yonke le nto yindlela uBunny anyanzelisa ngayo ukothuka malunga noJessica ngokutsaleleka kuMARIO FRICKIN ’LOPEZ.
UBilly, ekhohliswe ngumnqweno wokuqhubeka nokubetha umama wakhe ongatshatanga naye, wenza ubuncinci bokumba ekhitshini ukuze afumane ibhegi kaHarland equlethe, ikhefu, izicwangciso zakhe zendlela yakhe eyimfihlo! Ndizokuya phambili kwaye ndimoshe ukuphela kwe-movie apha kwaye ndithi akukho nto iza ngale nto. UBilly akalikrazuli iphepha, akaliqhayisi ngegrisi yenkukhu, okanye enze into ephosakeleyo njengokulinika umpheki wenkukhu ophikisanayo oqhubeka nokwenza Ukukhulisa i-Cane's okanye into. Hayi, uyibuyisela apho ayifumene khona kwaye unikezela iHarland i- $ 500,000 ukuhlala kude noJessica.
Kulungile, ayisiyiyo eyokuba ndikhuthaze ukuhlawulwa ukuze ndingalandeli uthando lobomi bakho, kodwa… iHarland, udibene noJessica izolo. Uqinisekile ukuba awufuni ku… kunene, uthando lokwenene nayo yonke loo nto.
Lo mboniso ububudenge kuba iHarland kufuneka izibuze kwangoko ukuba kutheni ibhegi yayo ikwikhawuntari kwaye ivuliwe (yayikudrowa ngaphambili). UBilly uqhubeka athi yena noJessica bayatshata (ha!) Ekholelwa nguHarland ngesizathu esithile nasemva kokuba uBilly enikezele ngesiqingatha sesigidi seedola ukuba ahambe? Eyona nto icaphukisa iHarland yeyona nto ibalulekileyo, kukuba uJessica uxelela uBilly malunga neresiphi awayeyabelene naye kwaye kuphela kwakhe .
Ngelixa iHarland kunye nee-biceps zakhe ezintle zityhafile, uLee ujongana noBunny malunga noko akubonileyo kwiklabhu yelizwe. Ndilibele ukukhankanya ukuba ubambe uBilly noBunny benza amehlo omnye komnye. I was too upset that we did not get to see noba okanye hayi umhla ka Lee uhambe ok. Sele uyazi, ngelixa ubukele lo mbono, ukuba uBunny uza kunkqonkqoza u-Lee ngaphandle kuba kukho into elula ecekeceke ngezinyuko.
Ndizokoyika malunga nesitabane, umntu omnyama ubulawa, kodwa le movie ayinalo uhlahlo-lwabiwo mali.
UJessica noHarland bayaphinda babonane, uHarland ucwangcisa ukumka, intliziyo yakhe yaphazamiseka ngenxa yokuba uJessica wathumela umyalezo nge-recipe yakhe. (Ndiyayibaxa, into ethi bhanyabhanya enombono onje ayenzi ngokwaneleyo.) Ndothuswa kukuba, ngokwenene ... bathetha omnye nomnye ukucoca nakuphi na ukunxibelelana. KUFUNEKA ukuba kuphela kuba kushiyeke imizuzu emi-5 kuphela. Sonke siyazi ukuba i-cheesy romances KUFANELE ukuba ube ne-arc engafanelekanga yokunxibelelana. Aba babini babelana ngokumanga, kwaye uBunny wothukile kuba akayikhumbuli ukugqibela kwakhe ukwamkelwa ngumntu ongenagama UBilly Garibaldi III.
Le ndoda? Xa kuthelekiswa noMario Lopez? PFFT!
Ngomso olandelayo, uJessica uxela ukuba akanakutshata noBilly, unethenda yenkukhu yaseHarland kuphela. UBunny uxelela uJessica ukuba uHarland ushiye ngorhatya ngokungathi kufanelekile ukuba ndikholelwe ukuba uJessica akazange athabathe izithambiso zemvelo neziqholo zaseHarland izolo ebusuku. Yenye into malunga nale movie. Yento ene ukuhenda kwisihloko akukho ukukhotha inkanuko, nditsho nokuphela kumnyama njengoko uJessica emema uHarland kwigumbi lakhe ngesiqwenga se-10 ngecala leebhiskithi. UJessica uyabaleka, ucaphukile, kuba ucinga ukuba uHarland uyekile, kodwa emva koko uyeva isandi esikhathazekileyo sivela… kwindawo yokugcina eyadini yakhe?!
Phakamisa ubambe ubambe phezulu.
Ngaba undixelela ukuba uBunny noBilly bathumbe uHarland kwaye bambopha ENDLWINI?! Khange bamkhuphe nasepropheni?!?! BASHIYA UMNYANGO UVULEKILE UKUBA UJESSICA ANGAHAMBA NJE?!?!?!
UBilly uyaphuma ezithunzini azityhile ukuba usemva koqweqwediso, kwaye ndingathanda ukwazi ukuba lendoda yoyise kanjani uColonel Beefcake. UBunny uza ebaleka ukuza kutyhila ukuba u-Lee ubalekile, okwatyhila kuJessica ukuba umama wakhe ukuyo yonke le nto. U-Lee uba ligorha (esihogweni ewe) kwaye unkqonkqoze uBilly ngaphandle. (Kwaye uhambe nomnini weklabhu yelizwe, ndiyathemba, nje, ngaba kuya kubakho umhla wesibini ???)
Ndimele nditsho, ndiyayixabisa into yokuba uJessica akenzi ezinye ungayenza njani lento kum mama dialogue kwaye endaweni yoko umbethe nje esihogweni aphume aye kwenza iHarland. Intombazana entle.
Kunyaka emva koko, uJessica noHarland batshata noLee begosa umsitho womtshato, kwaye APHO umnini weklabhu yelizwe onjengaye yall usenxibelelana NCEDA NDIXELELE!
Kwaye imovie, andikowomntwana, inesibindi sokuphelela kwindawo eyomeleleyo apho uBunny ekwiziko lempilo. UBilly umndwendwela, athi ubafumene, kwaye utya iqhekeza lenkukhu. Kuba… incasa yenkukhu yamlumkisa ngendawo yabo? Ukuphela akusiyo uBilly ehamba kwindawo yokutya inkukhu yokuncintisana ukuzama ukukhupha iskimu ngokumelene neHarland NGAPHAMBILI kwam. Ubuncinci uBilly atyhile ukuba igama lakhe elipheleleyo nguBilly Garibaldi elephants-A III okanye into.
Le movie iyinto engathandekiyo kum kuba ayifani nje neebhonkers njengoko ndandilindele. I-Intanethi yayididekile ngenxa yetreyila, kwaye ndandikulungele ukuba nayo ibe namandla afanayo ne-KFC dating sim ( ewe, ngokwenene ) okanye fan mascot okanye enye into. Endaweni yoko, yimidlalo bhanyabhanya yoBomi bonke kunye nokukhankanywa kwenkukhu kunye neendlela zokupheka eziyimfihlo.
Uxolo, intanethi. Oku akuyiyo into engaqhelekanga esiyibonayo ngaphambili.
(umfanekiso: Ubomi bonke)
Ngaba ufuna amanye amabali anje? Yiba ngumbhalisi kwaye uxhase indawo!
-UMary Sue unomgaqo-nkqubo ongqongqo ongavumiyo, kodwa ungaphelelanga apho, ukuthukwa kwabantu nabani na , Intiyo nentetho egonyamelayo. —
