Okuninzi njenge Abaguquli: Ubudala be-Ex-STINK-tion Amirite? Olu hlaziyo lunabaphangi, kuba u-A) ngekhe uyibone le movie nokuba kunjalo, uthembekile, kunye no-B) akukho siqwenga somsebenzi sichanekileyo.
NgoLwesithathu ebusuku, ndaya kuvavanywa kwangaphambili Abaguquli: Ubudala bokuPhela .
Ewe, ndiyazi, ndiyazi. Kodwa simahla. Kwakukho ipapa. Kwaye ndingumbhali wezolonwabo-kufuneka ndiqhubeke nale nto ithethwa ngabantwana kwezi ntsuku. Ungakhe ulinge undigwebe.
Kwaye ndatsho, andizange ndidaniswe. Yima. Oko kufuna amagama ambalwa phambi kwayo. Ndilindele iiyure ezimbini kunye nemizuzu engama-45 ( Ewe , Lide kangakanani eli bhanyabhanya) lokuqhushumba kwesidenge, incoko yobudenge, iyelenqe lobudenge, abalinganiswa abazizidenge, kunye nobuyatha obuyisidenge. Kwaye kuloo nto, andizange ndidane! Ke… yay?
Umntu ophambili (ongumntu) nguCade Yeager, ikhaya eliphantsi, shootin eqondileyo 'injineli yaseTexas / umsunguli odlalwe nguMark Wahlberg. Kwaye ndiye ndatsho, kukuphosa ngokugqibeleleyo, kuba akukho mntu wumbi wayenokuhambisa imigca enjengokuchola isinyithi nokusiwisa! ngenqanaba elifanelekileyo lesimumu.
Unentombi, uTessa (Nicola Peltz), kwaye eyona ndima yakhe ibalulekileyo kukoyika kwaye ahlangulwe. Ndiyazi, wena ndothukile .
Kukho uShane (uJack Reynor), isoka likaTessa, onengxoxo ehlekisayo ye-LOL kunye neCade malunga nokuba ulwalamano lwakhe noTessa alukho mthethweni. Kuba udlwengulo olusemthethweni, yenyani .
I-Tessa icwangciswe ngokucacileyo kumdlalo bhanyabhanya ngokunxulumene nalawo mabini abalinganiswa abangamadoda-ngaxa lithile uShane uxelela iCade ukuba andikho apha ukunceda ukuhlangula intombi yakho. Ulapha ukunceda ukuhlangula intombi yam. Emva kwexesha kukho iManly Moment (TM) apho uCade ecinga ukuba mhlawumbi uza kubulawa, ke uxelela uShane ukuba kufuneka abe nguye okhusela uTessa ukusukela ngoku. Ndiyazi. Kuba akakwazi ukuyenza ngokwakhe.
Kukho ifayile ye- olungelele isuntswana learhente apho, ukuba uyacothoza. Phantse ekuqaleni kwe-movie kukhankanyiwe ukuba uTessa unamaphupha ekholeji athe athintelwa kukusilela kwemali. Nangona kunjalo, olo phuculo lokukhula komlingiswa lubonakala kuyo yonke imovie njengoko uTessa egxeka utata wakhe ukuba ayeke ukulandela amaphupha omqambi ophambeneyo, kuba abafazi, amiright? Cade ukuzinikezela UKUQHUTYELWA KWEAMURIKA yeyona nto igcina usuku amaxesha amaninzi, ngelixa uTessa engena ngeyure le-11 ngexesha lomlo wokugqibela kwaye ancede uShane noMarky Mark basindise ubomi bukaOptimus Prime. Yeyiphi, emva kweeyure ezi-2 kunye nemizuzu engama-45 yokujonga le ntombazana isisiyatha, ekhwaza kwiimpahla zayo zobuyatha, ezinamaqhina, incinci kakhulu, inde kakhulu.
Owu, kwaye ndikhankanyile i-VAGINA MONSTER?
BENDINGENZILE? Kulungile mandikuxelele ngesigebenga selungu lobufazi.
Kukho lo mboniso apho ii-Autobots zikwisiphekepheke zikhangela u-Optimus Prime, obanjiweyo. Badibana nesigebenga selungu lobufazi esixhonyiweyo, esithi… oh Thixo, andinakukuchwetheza oku ukuhlekisa… IIMFUNO ZOKUGQIBELA UGAWULOSI NGOKUQHELEKILEYO NGOLUNYE ULUHLU LWEGOO.
Emva koko uJohn Goodman Transformer uyibiza ngokuba yi-bitch kwaye uyidubula kuba iphazamisa kakhulu ukuhlala. Ngumzuzu wokuphosa, kodwa yinto enye kum, ehlanganisa eyona nto iphambili kuyo Abaguquli: Ubudala bokuPhela : Ikhangeleka kwaye ivakala ngathi yenziwe ngamakhwenkwe aneminyaka esithoba ubudala. I-LADYPARTS ZI-GRRROOOOOOSOS. Kukho iTransformer yaseJapan, kwaye! Kwaye! Ungum Samurai! Unayo swoooooord . Kukho ukutshintshiselana okuqaqambileyo ngolu hlobo lulandelayo:
Ukuwa: Awunaso isigunyaziso!
Indoda eyoyikisayo karhulumente: Ubuso bam sisiqinisekiso sam.
Kwaye:
UKelsey Grammer: Emhlabeni, sinelizwi: Utshaba lotshaba lwam ngumhlobo wam.
Irobhothi engalunganga engeyiyo iMegatron: Sikwanentetho ethi: Andikhathali.
Ungaphantse Yabona amakhwenkwe alungiselela ukuhamba
Ngaphandle kogqabhuko-dubulo olulindelekileyo kwimovie kaMichael Bay, Abaguquli: Ubudala bokuPhela ineeflegi zaseMelika UKUQHUBA. YONKE INDAWO.
Luhlobo oluhlekisayo. Hilarious encinci: Ukuba indawo ebekwe eMelika, ifumana iiflegi zaseMelika ( Mka yeah! ). Ukuba ibekwe eTshayina, apho isahlulo esikhulu sesenzo sesithathu senzelwa iGotta ukufumana ezinye zebhokisi emnandi yamazwe aphesheya, mmm mmm MMM izizathu, ifumana ubuhlanga kubo bonke abantu baseAsia bayazi ubugcisa bemfazwe kunye neziqhulo zekuki ezixabisekileyo ezahlukeneyo. Kwaye ke kukho la masamura akhankanyiweyo uguqulweyo uKen Watanabe odlala.
Nangona kunjalo. Nangona kunjalo . Kukho icala elingezantsi kule bhanyabhanya. Igama layo nguStanley Tucci.
Udlala uYoshuwa, umfana onguSteve Jobs we-tech tech industry. Uqala ukuba ngumntu ombi, kodwa emva koko kuvela ukuba wayeliqhetseba ukuba ancede uMegatron (ewe, elapha), ebefanele ukuba uyazi ngcono kunokwenza kuba iSayensi ayilunganga. (Ngaphandle kokuba luphawu lwenzululwazi kaMarko. Emva koko kulungile. Kodwa kukho ezinye iimfihlakalo zendalo iphela ongafanelanga ukuba ungene kuzo, Kulungile?!?! Kuba iitrope!)
Andizukubuza ukuba kutheni iTucci isenza le movie, kuba ndicinga ukuba ndiyayazi impendulo, kwaye ndicinga ukuba ziingqisho kunye ne-schmoney.
Ndiza kubuza, nangona kunjalo, indlela uStanley Tucci akwazi ngayo ukuba kwimovie enemigca yencoko yababini ngathi Asinakhaya, Tata! Kwaqhuma! kwaye ngandlela thile ujike ulungile-hayi, ndiza kuthi, a kakhulu ukusebenza. Ngaba unomlingo? Ngaba wenza isivumelwano nomtyholi?
Uhlala eyilawula njani le nto, akukhathalekile ukuba ikweyiphi imovie? YINTONI IMFIHLO YAKHE?!
Konke kwinto enye, Abaguquli: Ubudala bokuPhela sisiphoso esihlaselayo. Kodwa, yatsho… ehleli kwindawo yemiboniso bhanyabhanya enomoya opholileyo ngosuku lwehlobo olubilayo ebukele le movie ayiyona ndlela imbi endinokuchitha ngayo iiyure ezimbini nemizuzu engama-45 yobomi bam. Bendingayi, umzekelo, kunokuba bendifumana ingcambu. Indumiso enjalo. Ndiyazi.
Kodwa le yeyona bhanyabhanya yokuqala kaMichael Bay ndiyibonileyo. Ndaya kulindela okona kubi kakhulu, ke ndalungisa ingqondo yam ukuba ibe malunga ne-15% yamandla, kwaye ndiyenzile loo nto… yayiyimovie eyoyikisayo, kodwa yayingeyiyo imbi amava . Andizisoli ngokuba ndiye. Ndabona uStanley Tucci esenza into yakhe uStanley Tucci. Kwaye kukho iinxalenye zebhanyabhanya ezihlekisayo ngokungacwangciswanga… de ukhumbule ukuba le movie yayiyiyo hayi yenziwe ngabantwana abaneminyaka esithoba ubudala, kodwa ngamadoda amadala achithe amakhulu ezigidi zeedola kuyo kwaye ahlawulelwa ngaphezulu kunam kwiminyaka eliqela. Emva koko kuluhlobo lokufunxa.
Ungandivi kakubi-andizukucebisa ukuchitha imali kuyo. Kodwa ukuba umntu uza kuwe kwaye wathi unokhetho olubini, ubona Abaguquli: Ubudala bokuPhela kwaye uthathe ibhafu kwitanki eligcwele isiqingatha sokufa, ii-slugs ezibolileyo, ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kufuneka uhambe kunye neyokuqala.
Kwaye indawo yokuqala inokuphela kwedinosaur okubangelwa ziirobhothi zasemzini. Ke. Kukho oko.
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