Uyifumana njani i-Girlfriend kunye ne-Peanuts Movie: Indlela i-Heteronormativity efumana ngayo ukuTsalwa kwabaNtwana

Umfanekiso wekhava wobugcisa ngoncedo lwe ICroatia Today Magazine

Kutshanje ndibenethamsanqa lokuvolontiya kumnyhadala wencwadi yonyana wam. Ufunda enkulisa ngoku, kwaye sele eza kugqiba iminyaka emi-6 ubudala. Yayingumboniso wakhe wokuqala wencwadi wokwenyani, ngokuchaseneyo neefom zoku-odola iincwadi ezi-ethe-ethe ezithi zithunyelwe ekhaya zingaziswanga, zize zilahleke kwangoko kwikhawuntara yasekhitshini.

Ndabonakalisa kusasa ekuseni, ndibophe intombi yam eneenyanga ezi-6 ubudala, kwaye ngokungathandabuzekiyo ndabuza amavolontiya omama asebekhulile ukuba ndimele ndenze ntoni. Ndandisemtsha kakhulu ukuba ndingasebenza irejista yemali, kwaye babembalwa kuphela abantwana ababebhadula kuloo ndawo kwangoko.

Ke, ngelixa ndilungisa iishelfu kwaye ndilinde ibhetshi elandelayo yabantwana ukuba bafike ne-Ziploc baggies yabo egcwele imali, ndiye ndaziqhelanisa neminye yeminikelo. Umboniso weencwadi wahlulwahlulwa ngokwamacandelo ngokobudala / kwinqanaba lebakala, nangokwenqanaba lokufunda. Kwicandelo le-Kindergarten / incwadi yokuqala yokufunda, ndifumene incwadi ebizwa Uyifumana njani intombi oyintombazana .

Ekuqaleni, amehlo am agqitha kanye kuyo, enkosi ngesandla somzobo womntwana oqweqwe.Ke, ekupasweni kwesibini, ngokwenenefundaisiciko. Kudala ndikhangela iincwadi eziza kukhuthaza unyana wam ukuba omeleze izakhono zakhe zokubalisa amabali, indawo enamathuba kuye ngokwendlela yakhe yokuthetha. Emva kokujonga le inshorensi yencwadi, ndihambe ngokukhawuleza ndaziva ndinomdla woloyiko.

Uyifumana njani intombi oyintombazana Isikhokelo sendlela ebhaliweyo nebonakaliswe ngayo liqela labantwana abasaqalayo. Kuqala ndacinga, inokuba ihlaya eliyisidenge- ukuthatha iintombi kunye namakhwenkwe abhalwe ngabantwana. Owu, ndiphazama kangakanani.

Kwangoko kwilulwane, Uyifumana njani intombi oyintombazana Isikhokelo esibhalwe ngamakhwenkwe kwi-100%, sixelela amanye amakhwenkwe ukuba kufuneka enze ntoni na ukuze afumane intombi. Ngokukodwa ngokuthe ngqo, inyathelo ngenyathelo, ngokumemeza ukuba imiyalelo yomibini yeyabantu abadala,nabantwana.Imizekelo ibandakanya:

-Okokuqala, fumana intombazana oyithandayo. Kufuneka aziphathe kakuhle - ayinamsebenzi ukuba ujongeka kanjani.

Umfanekiso ngoncedo lwe Aplus

-Dlala nentombazana kakhulu, kwaye uyayiwola.

-Nika iithoyi zakhe, kunye neentyatyambo.

-Yenza umasifundisane * ukuze umbhalele ileta yothando.

Umfanekiso ngoncedo lwe @IFani_Haymani

-Kumnandi ukuba nentombi, kuba ungenza izinto ezininzi naye kwaye ungadlala nayo.

Andizukumosha ezinye iingcebiso Uyifumana njani intombi oyintombazana unikezelo, kodwa ndiyakuxelela ukuba ndilahlwe ngokupheleleyo yinto yokuba le ncwadi ikho. Nasi isizathu:Abancinci babudala beminyaka emi-5-6 ubudala.Uyazi ukuba abantwana abaneminyaka emi-5-6 ubudala akufuneki bafunde okanye bafundiswe? Akukho mfuneko yokuba bafundiswe ukuba amadoda angabafumana njani abantu abathandana nabo.

Le ncwadi ibinokuthi ngokulula ibe yindlela yokwenza abahlobo. Heck, ukuba sitshatile nyani kumbono wokubhala incwadi yokuthandana yabantwana, kutheni le ncwadi ingenakubizwa ngokuba Ungamfumana njani umntu oza kuthandana naye / ukuthanda / ukutshata?

Wayephi utitshala? Utitshala waba babhali badala-enkulisa wanceda kwaye wayalela kwaye wavumela ukuba yenziwe le ncwadi-emva koko? Emva koko yangeniswa kukhuphiswano olubizwa ngokuba ngaBantwana ngaBabhali, apho incwadi yaphumelela ibhaso elixhaswe yiScholastic, elilelokuqala elizweni kumthengisi weencwadi zabantwana kwimiboniso yeencwadi zesikolo.

Mhlawumbi andisekelwanga apha, kodwa ndiyakholelwa ukuba indima katitshala kwigumbi lokufundela lonyana wam kukufundisa izihloko ezifanelekileyo ubudala, kunye nokuthintela abafundi ekuvezeni izihloko ezingafanelekanga ngabantwana abadala. Andifuni ootitshala ukuba bakhuthaze olu hlobo lokufunda nokubhala, xa benokuthi bancede abafundi ukuba babe ngabantu abahloniphekileyo, abanyamezelayo, nabavulekileyo.

Yitsho nam: leinkwenkwe-ifumana-intombazana heteronormative ukuthandana incwadi ebhalwe kwaye ithengiswe kubantwana abaneminyaka emihlanu (ngokukhuthazwa ngutitshala wabo we-Kindergarten), iphumelele ibhaso kwinkampani ethatha isigqibo sokuba zeziphi iincwadi ezibekwa phambi kwabantwana bethu kwimiboniso yeencwadi zesikolo sikarhulumente.

Kutheni, oh kutheni, kufuneka 'ibe yinkwenkwe ejola nentombazana'?Uninzi lwemifanekiso kwi Uyifumana njani intombi oyintombazana , Iimpawu zesini kuphela zezinto ezinje ngombala wempahla okanye ukumila kwempahla emntwini. Kwiphepha elingaphandle, omnye waba bantu babini akabonakali ngathi unxibe iblukhwe! (Ndifumanise ukuba le kuphela kwento ehlekisayo yencwadi yonke.) Ngaba sikhona isizathu emhlabeni ukuba aba bantwana babengenakukhuthazwa ukuba babhale incwadi yabo yokuthandana ngaphandle kwempikiswano? Kutheni le nto ibingenakubandakanya amaphepha malunga nokuba amantombazana angafumana njani amasoka, okanye ukuba amakhwenkwe kunye namantombazana banokufumana njani abantu abathandanayo besini esinye?

Isivakalisi sokugqibela, endisandula ukusibhala, sisiseko sengxaki. Ayisiyiyo nje into yokuba ndixakiwe ukuba le ncwadi iphumelele ibhaso, kwaye ngoku ithengiswa kwiindawo ezininzi zokubonisa iincwadi eMelika - sisakhiwo sencwadi uqobo. Yindlela ye-heteronormative-to-dating manual, engaphumeleliyo ukubandakanya ukhetho lwentombazana yokufumana umfana, okanye nakuphi na ukumelwa okungafaniyo kobudlelwane be-LGBTQ +.

Xa ndivakalisa inkxalabo yam ngento yokuba isikolo sonyana wam sibonisa kwaye sithengisa incwadi yokubonisana yabantwana ngexesha lomboniso wencwadi oxhaswe sisikolo, ndadibana neempendulo ezahlukeneyo. Abanye abantu, njengotitshala wonyana wam, babonakala ngathi bothukile kwaye badana. Bavakalelwa kukuba ukuba isikolo besifuna nyani ukubandakanya le ncwadi, ngebenze njalo nakwinqanaba labadala. Qaphela, isikolo sonyana wam asikhathaleli bantwana bangaphezulu kweminyaka ye-8.

Abanye, kwelinye icala, babecinga ukuba Mna Yeyona nto ingenangqondo yokukhathazeka okanye yokucaphuka kwaphela. Ngaphezulu kwabazali abambalwa abandijongileyo bengakholelwa xa ndicinga ngale meko kwaye ndavakalisa inkxalabo yam. Omnye umama wayilahla ngokoqobo into awayeyenza, wandijonga ngento endinokuyichaza njengokucaphukisa, kwaye wabuza Ngaba wenafundangaphambi kokuba uthethe izinto ezinje? Ngombulelo, ndakwazi ukumqinisekisa ukuba ndinayo! Kabini.

Uluvo lokuba ndingazixhalabisa kakhulu luboniswe ngabahlobo kunye nabazali endibahloniphayo, endabelana nabo ngezimvo ezifanayo. Ngokunyaniseka, ndaqala ukuzibuza ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba bendibona nje into engekhoyo. Ndiye ndalaqaza ukujonga kancinci.

Ukuphononongwa kweAmazon kwahlulwa ngokufanayo - abanye abahlaziyi baqhula ngokuthengela ulutsha lwabo, enyeuthe wayithengela isoka lakhe njengesipho sokukhumbula usuku lwayo. Abazali kunye nootitshala ngokufanayo bavuyisene kwaye bafaniswa nokuqhwatywa ngomqolo ngabathengi abangaziwayo.

Kodwa emva koko, bekukho olu hlaziyo lunye:

Ndandingendedwa! Kwakukho nomnye umntu omncinci owayeyibonile le ncwadi kwaye wacinga ukuba ayilunganga. Kwaye emva koko kwafika umboniso weziyatha, ubiza iqela lam elingaziwayo ukuba libukrwada kwaye ucebisa ukuba bafumane ubomi.

Ngaba yinto enkulu kangaka ukulucelomngeni uluvo lokuba abantwana bethu abaneminyaka emi-5 ubudala abayifuni i-heteronormativity etyhalelwe kuboesikolweni, phambi kokuba bakwazi nokufunda nokubhala bebodwa,ngohlobo lweincwadi yokuthandanaapho amakhwenkwe axelelwa ukuba ukuba enza izinto ezithile kwaye afumane intombazana ethile anakhomfumanenjengentombi?

Xa ndafika kuMary Sue ukuba ndibeke eli nqaku, umhleli wam wabuza ukuba ndijonge eminye imizekelo ye-heteronormativity ebomini bomntwana wam (kunye nam). Ndiqale ukujonga-jonga, ndaye ndaqonda ukuba eyona nto siyifunayo linqaku elinika imizekelo yeendlela ezahlukeneyo zobudlelwane Ngoba? Kuba i-100% yeencwadi, iimuvi, iintengiso, imiboniso kunye nemidlalo ebifumaneka ngokulula kwaye ifumaneka ngokulula kunyana wam kwisikolo nakwilayibrari yakhe.

Oko bekutshiwo, ndiza kunika umzekelo wangoku kunye nokuba ufikeleleke ngakumbi kwinto endicinga ukuba ihambe gwenxa ngayo Uyifumana njani intombi oyintombazana -Ndiyathemba ukuba ungabona ukufana apha xa konke kusenziwa kwaye kwenziwe.

NgoMgqibelo emva koMbulelo ndaziva ndiphantsi kwaye ndikhathazekile. Sasinamava osapho esenza amagqabantshintshi ngo-homophobic / transphobic ngexesha lesidlo sangokuhlwa sombulelo, kwaye unyana wethu wayeqale ukubonisa isimilo sokuziphatha okulihlazo xa isihlobo sabuza malunga nokhetho oluthile kuluhlu lweKrisimesi. (Amantombazana e-Equestria, umatshini wokuqala wokuthunga, kunye nomthwalo we-butt Indalo yam izinto zokudlala). Ke siye sagqiba kwelokuba sibe nexesha losapho olusemgangathweni, kwaye simse ukuba ayokubona imovie efanelekileyo yosapho kwiCinema-Pub ekufuphi.

Thinawamsa wabona i Amandongomane imuvi, Ndicinga ukuba kunjaloiya kuba ngamava amahle esizukulwane.Bhakani phezulu, bantu - uloliwe we-hetero u-chuggin 'kwisikhululo. (* Izilumkiso zespoiler ze Umboniso bhanya-bhanya wePeanuts ngezantsi *)

Uninzi lwethu lukhule kunye noCharlie Brown ebomini babo. Abanye bethu babukela iKrisimesi kaCharlie Brown minyaka le, abanye bahlekisa ngathi ndafumana ilitye xa beqhula ngeHalloween.

Kuyabonakala ukuba, ngo-2015, usapho lakwaSchultz (ibali labhalwa ngumzobi wokuqala nonyana kaCharles Schulz kunye nomzukulwana wakhe) kunye ne-20th Century Fox bagqiba kwelokuba ilifa elitsha liza kuhlala kwesi sizukulwana sabaselula: UCharlie Brown kufuneka afumane uNcinci- Intombazana ebomvu ebomvu ukuba imthande, ukuze ibe yimpumelelo. KwayeSnoopy? Kuya kufuneka ukuba alandelele phantsi umqhubi wenqwelomoya oneenwele eziPinki wabona elinye ixesha, ukuze amthande kwaye oyise iRed Baron.

Ukuba uyiphosile, i lonke iyelenqe ye Amandongomane Umboniso bhanyabhanya usekelwe kumabali amabini ahambelanayo. Zombini ezi zijikeleze umlinganiswa oyindoda uzama ukufumana / ukuchukumisa / ukuphumelela ngaphezulu komlinganiswa obhinqileyo, ukuze baphumelele.

Owu, ngaba loo nto yayingakulungelanga ngokwaneleyo?

Ngentlonelo yokwenyani kwimicu yoqobo yamahlaya, iNtombazana encinci-ebomvu-iinwele ayibonisi ubuso bayo. Ngapha koko, olona tshintsho babecinga ukuba luyimfuneko kuludwe lwe-antique / indibaniselwano yeqhingawayenjaloukukhetha ukubonisa ubuso bakhe (ukulinda) ngaphantsi komzuzu , kwimizuzu emi-5 yokugqibela yefilimu yemizuzu engama-90 ubude.

Kulaa migca, i-Pink-Haired Poodle pilot (badass) ethi uSnoopy ichithe imizuzu engama-90 iphishekela? Akanagama okanye lizwi,kananjalo uSnoopy akazange asebenzisane naye okanye athethe naye ngaphambi kokuba athathe isigqibo sokuba kufuneka achithe yonke imovie ngokuzama ukumfumana.Ngapha koko, xa ekugqibeleni enethuba lokususa imesis yakhe yakudala iRed Baron? Inqwelomoya yenqwelomoya enombala o-Pink-Haired Poodle idutyulwa lutshaba oludala, kwayeUSnoopy unikezela uloyiso lokusindisa ubomi bakhe.Ukubuyisa? Uyamjoyina kwinqwelo-moya yakhe, ugubungela iWoodstock (engafaniyo nosana) kwaye iintliziyo ezincinci zivela ngentla kwentloko yakhe njengoko ebamba icala likaSnoopy. Khange bathethe kube kanye ngexesha lomdlalo bhanyabhanya ngaphambi kwale ndawo.

Kutheni le nto ibaluleke kangaka kum? Kubalulekile kum kuba kumdlalo bhanyabhanya apho uCharlie Brown wafunda khona yonke iMfazwe noXolo, wabhala ingxelo emnandi kakhulu yencwadi, wabonisa izinto ezintle zokunyaniseka, uvelwano, ukuthembeka kunye nentlonipho- kwaye xa ndabuza umntwana wam oneminyaka emi-5 ukuba yeyiphi eyona ndawo ayithandayo. Imovie yayi? Usixelele ukuba uyayithanda into yokuba uCharlie Brown abe nguMphumeleleyo! (linda ke) Xa wafumana le ntombazana ukuba imthande! Xa sityhalela ngaphezulu, sibuza ukuba ikhona enye into ayithandayo? USnoopy walwa nenye inqwelomoya, wayisindisa loo ntombazana yenja emva koko wayithanda.

Usapho lwethu luphuma kwindlela yethu ukubhiyozela iyantlukwano. Sifunda rhoqo iincwadi ezineentsapho ezahlukileyo ezimelweyo, kwaye sichitha ixesha nabahlobo kunye namalungu osapho ahlukeneyo ngokobuhlanga kunye namalungu endithanda ukukubiza ngokuba yiRainbow Spectrum. Yonke imihla sithetha ngokwahluka, kunye nendlela abasenza ngayo sonke ukuba sibaluleke kwaye simangalisa. Sichaza ukuba yintoni ubuhle, siyamdumisa ngokusebenza nzima kunye nomzamo ngokuchasene neetalente zakhe zendalo. Sizama nzima, kwaye kwimizuzu engama-90, wafunda ukuba ukuze aphumelele kufuneka enze konke okusemandleni akhe ukuze afumane intombazanaowayengenabo ubuso okanye igamaukuthanda umntu ophambili. Amaxesha amaninzi kwi Amandongomane Umboniso bhanyabhanya, uCharlie Brown ucebise ukuba ukuba Intombazana encinci-ebomvu-iinwele ayizange iphele ekumqapheleni okanye ekumthandeni, ke yonke imizamo yakhe ayizukuba lilize.Kuba. Akukho nto.

Ndiyicinga into endiyithethayo apha kukuba ngowama-2015. Kwamanye amazwe, baninzi abantu abawela kwiRainbow Spectrum abathi ekugqibeleni bafumane amalungelo kunye nokhuselo abalufanele ukuba baphathwe ngokufanelekileyo. (Akonelanga, ukude-ukuba icace.) Njani kwaye kutheni kunokwenzeka ukuba yonke into yamajelo eendaba aqhelekileyo afumanekayo kubantwana bethu abaneminyaka emi-5 abonisa kuphela isini esahlukileyoimigangatho yobudlelwane, kwaye phantse zonke zimhlophe?

Njani kwaye kutheni incwadi exhaswa ngemali yincwadi efanelekileyo ithengisa isikhokelo sokuthandana nesini esahlukileyo kwisikhokelo sabantwana abancinci? Kutheni kwaye kutheni kukho utitshala wasenkulisa phaya phandle endaweni ethile ekhuthaza amakhwenkwe aneminyaka emi-5 ukuba abhale incwadi malunga nokuba amakhwenkwe angafumana njani amantombazana? Kutheni le nto umpapashi weencwadi owaziwayo kwilizwe lonke kunye nomthengisi Ukunikezela le ncwadi njengomgangatho wegolide ?

Njengomntu owela phantsi kwelo zinga likhazimlayo iRainbow Spectrum, inyani yokuba ubudlelwane bam bangoku bubudoda obuyindoda kuthetha ukuba abantu abaninzi abaziva ndifumana umbono. Bayaphazama.

Ndiyenzile injongo yam ukuba unyana wam aqonde ukuba ngenxa yokuba wakhawulwa yindoda nomfazi, kwaye amanani abazali bakhe afana nesibini esithandanayo, oko akuthethi ukuba ezinye iintlobo zobudlelwane azikho okanye zincinci -ngaphaya ngandlela thile. Ngaphandle kokuchitha ixesha nabantu abaninzi abathandanayo besini esinye, kunye nabantu abadlulayo, kunye nokuvula iingxoxo ezivulekileyo nezichanekileyo naye malunga nezi zinto, kubonakala ngathi yinto eyonyukayo yokulwa ulwandle lokungaqheleki kunye ne-heteronormativity.

Emva kokuchitha ixesha nomhlobo wakhe ovela kusapho lwabazali besini esifanayo, sahamba ngomtshato kunye nabatshakazi ababini, kwaye waqalaesixelelaukuba kufanele ukuba kubekho impazamo kuba bephosile inkwenkwe. Iminyaka yokusebenza nzima igcina amehlo evulekile, kwaye sihlala sisilwa yonke inyathelo lendlela yokubamba loo mhlaba, kungasathethwa ke ngokuzuza ngaphezulu.

Njengoko benditshilo, ngu-2015, kwaye ndicinga ukuba lixesha lokuba sinike i-heteronormativity ishelufu ephezulu phezulu ngasemva kwekhabethe elimnyama. Lixesha lokuba sinike iRainbow Spectrum ngakumbi ukubonwa - emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ayisekho egumbini kwakhona.

UNicole Tompkins-Hughes ngumbhali ozimeleyo othetha ngemidlalo, itekhnoloji kunye nazo zonke izinto ezinxulumene nokuba ngumzali. Uyakuthanda ukwahluka kunye nokulingana, kunye nabantu abenza umhlaba wethu ujikeleze. Unokufunyanwa kwi-Twitter @Smiling_Nymh kunye nemizekelo yomsebenzi wakhe inokufunyanwa kwi JongaNicoleWrite.tumblr.com .

-Ndicela uqaphele umgaqo-nkqubo kaMary Sue wokuphawula ngokubanzi.

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